Press: So as a new candidate for the office of the Presidency of the United States sir, what is your position on Nancy Pelosi?

Berny: Well Wolfe it is so nice to be IN the Situation room speaking to the world. As a fifth generation San Franciscan I truly see Nancy Pelosi as always wearing nice designer outfits and tasteful jewelry.

Press: But what do you think about Nancy Pelosi and her obsession with Im-Peachment?

Berny: Well as I’ve said in my campaigne Wolf,  it seems to be Nancy is consistent and obessesed with PEACHES. Nancy wants us all to send her all our peaches. I believe she will not stop until she has enough peaches…..

Press: Why do you think Nancy is so obsessed with peaches today?

Berny: Well its sad Wolfe. The pending criminal indictments from the Department of Justice investigations since 2017 are about to land on Nancy Pelosi and her team. The premature aging we all see in her photo’s she believes can be offset by PEACH COMPRESS’s. As the condition is progressing so rapidly from the stress loading – Nancy needs more Peaches than her day job allows her to gather up. We all need to Help Nancy on the peaches thing ……

Press: What would you tell the public related to Nancy Pelosi’s closed door secret sub basement hearings going on today?

Berny: Well I think it is TIME Wolfe that all Americans who believe in our common values and our individual rights and freedoms go to the store or as AMAZON PRIME MEMBERS use the new two hour delivery service, and order a dozen PEACHES for NANCY and send the peaches to her office in Washington DC ( over night this weekend ) . I believe if tens of millions of us all send Nancy Pelosi the PEACHES she so badly desires the IM-PEACHMENT may stop once Nancy has ENOUGH PEACHES. That is my belief as an American. ( Readers outside the USA send Nancy some peaches in your compassion from other nations today ).

Press: Do you have any advice to Nancy Pelosi moving forward now as a Presidential Candidate?

Berny: Yes. ( looking right on the main camera in the situation room ) Nancy if I am right and just my blog readers from all over the world send you overnight a dozen PEACHES to your office – I believe and I hold this belief in my heart madame speaker, you are going to require a much larger walk in freezer to preserve your PEACHES. We love you Nancy. More peaches are coming. Lets all order her peaches today …no delay?

Press: What do you have to say to your democratic opponents and the SQUAD?

Berny: Well I am personally with the SQUAD and candidates – all in and and  for canceling 1.5 trillion dollars of student loan contracts, and all debt in America and covering all 370 million of Americans for unlimited health care cost, ( free ) and ( including all 15 million illegal immigrants and unlimited welfare and aide too as humanitarian ) and free food and money living wage for street people – and FREE EDUCATION to every age group for life – as starters as I”m am for it all as well – and  starting before I’m elected. My team have gone over ( as we are investment banker economists you remember having run larger global publically traded investment banking institutions ) as to  how we can pay for this and we came up with a plan None of our oppossing candidates have done the real math. We have. FOR THE FIRST TIME THE COOPERATION PARTY is putting forrth an HONEST PLAN of how the USA an pay for what we all want and desire as socialists. We tax every single income earner 90% retroactive to January 2029, we put a value added tax on everything anyone buys of 500% and we put tariff’s on all incoming trade goods of 150% and we borrow 800 trillion dollars. Our team is confident with these steps over 300 years we can and we will pay for it…and if not we can just raise taxes some more. Our team believes we can almost break even with soaring national debt and cover all the named programs withut canceling electricity like they now do in California or water services.

Press: Your not running as a Republican or as a Democrat what is your party affiliation?

Berny: Well watching the hatred and disrespect the parties are showing each other we started the all new  COOPERATION PARTY where everyone is having tea together and crumpets. We are all getting along pretty well and trying to re-invent America. We are having a COOPERATION PARTY every day. We all get along pretty well together Wolfe.

Press: Do you think you can win?

Berny: Well it all comes down to Money Wolfe. The other candidates and parties are raising billions. We are asking everyone in the world to send me money to Berny Dohrmann 1324 Seven Springs Blvd. # 343 New Port Richey, FL 34655  ten bucks or more – and we’ll use that to drive a winning campaign message. if everyone in the world sends me money I may have a chance it is hard to say. The other parties are better organized and better funded and their candidates all want the job of President and I do not. I’m only running because no one in the race today is standing up for the peaches and solution Nancy Pelosi so richly deserves. I stand for sending Nancy all our peaches until she has enough peaches to stop the IM – PEACHMENT. ( keep  of your check and frame it for any sum . Berny Dohrmann For President . as a historic event when you send it to me. Thanks everyone for your spare MONEY.

Press: But you have been to jail before. Do you think someone with a criminal record can become the President of the United States?

Berny: Wolfe, as you know the government is run by criminals. I believe congressional criminals will feel comfortable with one of their own in the office of President. This swamp cleaning stuff is bad for the swamp and terrible for the criminals. Something has to give. I think the criminals in Washington  ( everyone including staff and all Federal Employees ) will see a felon running for office as a breath of fresh air. They all know me from my work with CEO SPACE into a fourth decade working for small business versus the criminals in big business that fund the Beltware and Government. As I don’t want that  BIG money I  only want small business donations no one else cares about, I think the crooks up there love the hard cold fact I don’t want even one peach. All the criminals in big business and DC will love me Wolfe. Facebook Analyitics  gave our team a winning Matrix Mark says can’t fail so we said lets go for it. Good enough?

Press: Well thats about all the time we have Berny we wish you the best in what is sure to be the most unusual campaign for office in the history of the USA. We wish you luck in your write in ballot approach as your not even on the ballot in any state.

Berny: Unmic and shaking hands left eating a fresh banana and decline a fresh peach saying – send THAT to Nancy Pelosi today.


End Press Conference in the Situation Room


Note: Thanks for sending me all your SPARE money today I really appreciate your donation – every candidate needs all your SPARE money that  you can send in and we always appreciate it. Larger donors will get a free tee shirt or base ball cap. If I can give away enough caps and shirts I may get secret service protection and other perks as well. I promise the most entertaining run ever for the US OFFICE OF PRESIDENT – you an’t seen nothing YET………have a great weekend….I’m speaking in Orlando LIVE.